If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will either.
Have you ever looked at others and wondered, “How can they be so beautiful?, How can everyone love them?” Well, it might seem like you need beauty and charisma but it has to do with how you are with those people.
Becoming the star of the show might seem like a difficult and tiring task but psychology has made it easy for us.
So, we have gathered some of the most common yet effective 16 psychological tricks on "How to Be More Attractive?".
1. Mirror the Person
This refers to the mimicry and mirroring effect, which involves copying another person's body language, vocal qualities, or attitude. This in turn ignites our mirror neuron system which increases liking and harmony.
In 1999, psychologists Chartrand and John Bargh experimented at New York University.
In this, 78 individuals had a conversation with the researcher about a photograph. With half of the participants, the researchers maintained a neutral expression and body language whereas with the others they mimicked the participants’ movements and posture.
The participants whose movements had been copied had rated their experimenters as more likable and described having smoother interactions with them.
They coined this as the “Chameleon effect as social cohesive.”
2. Allow People to Talk About Themselves
Harvard researcher Diana Tamir found that self-disclosure is as much fulfilling as food, money, and sex.
In the studies conducted by her, participants went through fMRI scanning and either revealed their own opinions and beliefs about personality traits or judged someone else’s opinion.
The results saw greater activity in the region of the brain associated with pleasure and reward when talking about themselves more than talking about others.
3. Authenticity
The favorite character in a movie tends to be the goofy and silly one.
Why? Because perfection seems to be competitive whereas making flaws and being real appears to be cuter and connecting. (Well, this is the best way to become more attractive to your partner.)
This was devised in 1966 by social psychologist Elliot Aronson as the Pratfall effect. It stated that people who are considered competent tend to be more likable when they commit a blunder whereas blunders make mediocre people less attractive. So, be competent in your work but still be open to flaws.
Consumer psychologist Adam Ferrier conducted a study in which he displayed the image of two cookies. One with a crumbled and rough edge (left) and the other with a smooth edge (right).
Surprisingly, 66% of the participants chose the cookie with the rough edge.
4. Good Sense of Humor
Individuals who are viewed as humorous are rated as more attractive than those who are not. This happens because humor is associated with positive qualities.
In 2015, a study was conducted by Doerksen and Shim in which 80 participants were called up to rate the attractiveness of 20 individuals based on their descriptions.
Individuals who were represented as witty and amusing were rated higher on the scale of attractiveness than the ones who were not.
5. Ask For a Favor
Asking for a favor has proved to be effective in building positive relationships as it shows us being approachable and vulnerable to people which has turned out to be a great way to sustain social relations.
The Benjamin Franklin effect states that a person starts liking the other person subsequently doing them a favor. It also states that an individual who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another favor.
Now, this is your cue to ask for a favor from your crush. Who knows they might help you again and soon that one-sided crush might turn into a two-sided love!
6. Be Confident
Being confident might be the first thing that would come to your mind when it’s about being attractive.
Confidence is simply ‘faith in yourself’. It’s a magnetic trait that not only makes you attractive but is also a tool to thrive in any social situation and
to steal the spotlight.
A study done by Back et al. in 2011 found that both men and women rated confident individuals as more attractive. The study concluded that confidence influences the way we perceive people. Humans subconsciously tend to put confident individuals in a positive light. So, be confident.
7. Smile Bright!
Whenever a passer-by smiles at you, you tend to smile back. Right?
Well, because our feelings and emotions are contagious whether it’s sadness, joy, or even yawn.
No one likes to sit in a room with you and your gloomy face rather they would like someone with a vibrating, bright, and happy face emitting positive vibes. So, smile.
In a study by Harker and Keltner in 2001, participants were shown images of individuals with smiley faces and faces with neutral expressions. The research concluded that people rated the smiling individuals higher on attractiveness than the ones with straight faces.
8. Display Positivity
People are drawn to those who radiate positive and happy rays. And being the source of that light might make you the most attractive person in the gathering.
A study conducted by Ralph Erber and Abraham Tesser in 1992 found that individuals in a positive mood were rated higher as attractive than those who were comparatively in a negative mood.
9. Compliment Wholeheartedly
Imagine you are sitting in a restaurant and a stranger compliments you “Oh, that dress suits you and the color’s just flattering your beauty.” That 10-second interaction might make your whole day.
This is the compliment-recipient effect. Compliments have a positive effect on the receiver. Just a few good words about them give a boost in their self-esteem, make them feel good and confident, give a sense of well-being, and often leave people with a positive viewpoint.
“Every time you receive a genuine compliment, it triggers the same area in the brain as receiving cash,” says Rozen
Cornell Social Psychologist Vanessa Bohns conducted research. The participants had to go on a college campus and compliment any person.
When compared, the participants underestimated how good their compliments would make others feel whereas the compliment receivers were very much happier.
10. Maintain Eye Contact
Maintaining eye contact gives the illusion of confidence. It makes the person feel that you are interested in talking to them and increases the chances of future conversations. It also makes you look trustworthy.
Prolonged eye contact releases phenylethylamine, a chemical responsible for feelings of attraction.
A study published in the Journal of Research and Personality found that two opposite sexes gazing into each other eyes even for two minutes can be attracted to each other.
11. Wield Kindness
Studies have found that kindness releases chemicals like oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine that lift our mood and leave us feeling happier and joyful. It can be in any form, maybe helping someone cross a road or asking them for water.
We, humans, are naturally drawn to those who are compassionate and considerate. Research from Huazhong University of Science and Technology in Wuhan, China found kindness to be an attractive trait.
There were 60 men and 60 women who were shown random pictures of 60 women with neutral expressions. The first group was given pictures with positive traits, the second group with negative traits, and the third group had to be judged based on physical features.
The results found that the pictures given to the first group were rated the highest on the scale of attractiveness as participants chose it based on positive traits such as kindness, and helpful nature.
12. Make Them Feel Good
Making people feel special and perceiving others the way they want to be seen has turned out to be a great way to increase closeness. Creating a positive atmosphere for people when they are in our presence is a valuable attractive quality.
In psychology, it has been termed as “Trait affective presence”. It is a characteristic in a human that refers to the consistent feeling an individual leaves behind in their interaction partners.
It is often considered a tool to measure how comfortable you make the other person feel despite of your personal feelings. It can be both positive and negative.
In 2010, a study done by Noah Eisenkraft and Hillary Anger Elfenbein further tested this trait. They enrolled business school students in the same class for a whole semester and divided them into groups. Then, the participants rated each member of the group based on eight different emotions.
The researchers found that most of the participants’ emotions were subconsciously affected by the affective presence of their fellow mates.
13. Appear Nice
Looking nice doesn’t always relate to having natural beauty, flawless skin, or alluring physical features. It has got to do a lot with how you dress and present yourself and your personality through your dressing style.
A research done by Michaël Dambrun and Elise Vatiné in 2009 suggests that people often shape their perception of others based on their clothing, including assumptions about personality traits.
The best way to attract someone’s attraction is to wear the color red. Psychology has defined it as “The Red Effect”. It states that wearing the color red can have a strong effect on people’s moods and has proven to evoke strong emotions such as love, power, and anger.
Some research concludes that people wearing red are rated as more attractive.
14. Use Open Body Language
If you are presented with two types of people. One is standing awkwardly with crossed arms and the other is standing with confidence and with a more approachable gesture. You are probably going to choose the one with confidence.
Our body language is very important when it comes to presenting ourselves and making a first good impression. Open body posture displays openness, approachability, and willingness to indulge in that conversation. It subconsciously leaves an impact on people and an imprint of our personality.
In 2006, Allan Pease and Barbara Pease published the book “The Definitive Look of Body Language”. They mentioned that individuals who displayed open posture were rated higher on attractiveness.
In 1992, a study by Ambady and Rosenthal highlighted the importance of non-verbal communication. The participants were shown video clips of people sitting in different body postures. Amazingly, based on their non-verbal behaviors participants could accurately judge their personality traits.
15. Be Mysterious but Open
Being mysterious is just like a suspenseful thriller movie. Just like you are compelled to watch the whole movie and know the secret, when you have a mystery hidden, people will be bound to know that and also to know you.
This is supported by a psychological phenomenon proposed in 1994 by George Loewenstein of Carnegie Mellon University called the “Information Gap theory”. He stated that curiosity emerges when there is a gap between what we know and what we want to know.
Being mysterious creates that information gap and people are more interested in you to fill in that gap.
But you also have to be open to that person while making sure that you are not creating a boundary between each other. And sometimes, even sharing some of your secrets can create a connection between each other and a sense of trust.
16. Be More Attractive
Last but not the least, be more attractive. The first step towards attractiveness starts with the belief in yourself that you can be loved and deserve the attention of others. It starts with self-love and considering yourself beautiful, pretty, and attractive before someone else.
Conclusion
Being attractive doesn’t always set up to using these techniques. Sometimes maybe your own personality traits can help you achieve that and these may not. So, don’t pressurize yourself on being attractive instead try to be the real you and see the magic.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. How can I get attractive fast?
Attractiveness is not an in-built trait. It has to be created with interactions and compassion with that person and that's a long-term game. But still, a comparatively faster way is to BELIEVE and APPEAR you are attractive and see the change.
2. How to make yourself look more attractive?
Attractiveness is displayed through your behavior and actions. The way you appear in front of people matters a lot. That's not necessarily your beauty but a bunch of other things. Like the way you dress, the way you speak, your body language, kindness, and for sure displaying confidence in everything you do.
3. How to be more attractive physically?
Physical attractiveness starts with your daily habits and hygienic practices. Starting with simple daily exercises, eating healthy food, and drinking a lot of water to escape from those pimples. Next, comes to the way you show yourself which starts with good grooming, presentable clothing, neat hair, and clear skin.
4. How to be attractive to everyone?
This question boils down to the fact that no matter what you do, you can't be liked by everyone. But still, you can be liked by the majority of people sitting in a room if you focus more on your behavior than your appearance.
5. How to be more attractive when you're not good-looking?
Harsh truth but your appearance surely is the first thing a person sees but not the last one. Your last impression is as important as your first impression. And to build a long-lasting image of yourself, you don't need good looks but approachable conduct.